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02 September 2009 @ 11:47 pm
Shrek Rant  
Sorry all I ever have to type on here are rants...

Earlier this summer, there was a contest up for girl to submit their singing as either Young or Teen Fiona from "I Know It's Today" from Shrek: the Musical. However, the age limit was 6 to 14. By the time I found out about the contest, I was going on being 5 years too old to even enter. I don't think my video ever got fully submitted, but that's okay; at least I tried for fun.

Part of the reason I want to type this out is because one girl, in her submission, which was the best I heard on YouTube, which a few people have noted that's enough to get you disqualfied... Where was I? Oh yes...

My bigger rant, though, comes from lyrics in the song. Now, I bet you're wondering, how can I question the technicality of lyrics? Well, it is possible, and I'll show you:

In the song, to show the passing of time, all 3 Fionas sing different numbers of the days that have gone by. Now, Young Fiona is 7 years old when she is dropped off at the castle. This can be supported by the contest accepting girls as young as 6. That would mean 6 years would have to pass before Young Fiona officially becomes Teen Fiona, right? Since they sing by days,

6*365=2190 days, more or less.

Here's where the lyrics of the song come in:

Young Fiona: Day number 23
Teen Fiona: Day number 958

Now let's do a little math...

958-23=935 days pass
935/365=2.5 years

Adding on those years from the accepted age of Young Fiona, that would only make her 9.5 years old at the time she's singing. She's nowhere near being a teen at that age, so really, the lyrics are misleading.

And just for a little fun...


That's over two times off from being right! Clearly something was missing in writing the lyrics for the song, because Teen Fiona's number of days is totally arbitrary.

For those who think that because of this, Adult Fiona's calculation is off, I'll do the math for that as well, and prove that Adult Fiona isn't really affected by Teen Fiona.

8423/365=23 years
7+23=30 years old, which is acceptable in my book. Some may consider it an overestimate, but guessing Adult Fiona's age can be tricky, and honestly, I think the personality fits with the time frame, so while some can argue this being off, it's not as off as Not-so-Teen Fiona.

Coming back to my original problem, there's a couple ways to solve the problem, and my conclusions as to it possibly happening:
1) Increase the day number Teen Fiona sings so she's actually a teen.
Conclusion: Minimal, if anything. The song's already been written with those days in cadence, so unless enough people seriously complain about it... Oh wait, even with a petition, they probably wouldn't change it.
2) Admit that Teen Fiona is really a Pre-Teen/Older Young Fiona.
Conclusion: Same. It's already been known for almost a year, so I doubt this would be changed either. Plus, it's easier to say Teen.

I say if a change were to come about, the second outcome would be more likely, because it doesn't ruin the cadence of the show in any way.

Now, I bet you're wondering why I went through all this trouble to prove this one point that's been frustrating me for a while now...

While I'm in my last year, I'm still a teen. Now, I bet they would not consider anyone of my age playing Teen Fiona, but in all technicalities, I'm still a teen, and therefore, want a chance to play her on stage like the other girls in the contest. Also, I know I'm right around Marissa's height, so that's not even a problem. I feel that even if I wasn't included in the age of the contest, the cutoff age should've been WAY higher, like 16/17. In my mind, Teen Fiona is really around 14-16 years old at the most. I get this estimate based on the ages of princessses in other fairy tales, so at this age, Fiona would be in her prime for Prince Charming.

You know I wouldn't leave without sharing what I feel what the day number should really be :P

14-7=7 years
7*365=2555-23=2532 days [lower]

16-7=9 years
9*365=3285-23=3262 [higher]

Again, these numbers are really only estimates, since we don't know when Fiona was born, thus not knowing the difference between that and Christmas Eve, when she was sent away.

Well, if you took the time to read all this, I applaud you. It was a long thesis, but I think well thought-out and supported by evidence.

EDIT: In re-reading the synopsis of the musical I have with my lyric book, it clearly states that Young Fiona is truly 7. This information makes this entry all the more important.
How I feel: melancholymelancholy
Current earworm: "I Know It's Today" - Shrek: the Musical